jessie-team-rocket

Greetings my beautifully coiffed PokeBabes! Today for our “Silly Saturday” post (to counter-act our heavy weight “Big Wednesday Blog Post”) we are going to lather, rinse, repeat our way through some long and luxurious nostalgia!

The world of anime has always presented some magnificent opportunities for us mere mortals to bask in the reflected glow of some laws of physics and gravity defying “Anime Hair” and Pokemon, my dear salon savvy chums, does not leave our eyes un-bedazzled in the weird anime hair stakes.

Look at Jesse Rocket’s magnificent envy-inducing red locks. Professor Oak’s earnest but handsome short, back and sides. Gary Oak’s bad boy points. Nurse Joy’s strange but kawaii pink creations. Pokemon characters have some truly inspiring hair.

nurse joy

But then.

They also have some hair that pushes the envelope a little too far and starts leaning towards U.G.L.Y territory.

Today, my pomaded pompodours, we are going to pay a loving tribute to some of (there are plenty I couldn’t include in just a Top 5) the worst hair in the Pokemon universe:

(5) Clair:

hair 5.png

I freely admit Clair is an absolute Boss and my first real girlpower crush as a kid, but oh mah god. There’s just so much going on. In so many directions. It’s Power Dressing gone into over-drive. I get how she’s rivals with Lance and has to prove herself as a competent and strong confident dragon leader in front of all the male elders and I love Clair, just… a little less styling gel, perhaps? You’re not actually a Dragonair… Clair…

(4) Grant:

hair 4.png

To be fair I really like Grant and I enjoy his rock climbing gym immeasurably but just… I know his hair is meant to emulate a mountain but… hair shouldn’t emulate mountains!!! Grant looks like someone who fell asleep on a couch at a fellow rock climber’s house party and they put a load of stuff in his hair while he was asleep to mess with him and then Grant woke up and no one told him how bad his hair had been pranked so he just went off Gym Leadering for the day without checking a mirror…

(3) Kiawe:

hair 3

Very similar to Grant is the reason Kiawe’s hair grates on me. I get that Kiawe’s hair is meant to be symbolic of the towering inferno from which he and his backpacker stoner friend do crazy dance  trials from up on the mountains yada yada yada but Kiawe just looks like he’s going through a teen-angst-rebellion phase and stole his sister’s henna and died his hair ‘all different cos he’s such a non-conformist, mom…! Also, you can’t see it here because this picture is pants, but Google search Kiawe’s eyebrows – they deserve a blog post on their own…

(2) Iris/Drayden:

hair 2 That’s not a hair style that’s a beanbag glued to someone’s head.

hair 2a

I’m as a partial to a nice beardy bloke as the next person (and a silver fox to boot) but seriousyl Drayden. Check yourself. And his actual hair is so nice and manly and normal looking… But that beard man. Sort it out.

(1) Samson Oak:

hair 1

Business at the front, party at the back… Nothing says Ladies Man Party Animal like a Mullet. Clearly a direct counter-part to Professor Samuel Oak’s straight laced traditional stuffed shirt educated man spiel, Samson is Samuel’s wild Hawaiian, sorry Alolan, party spirit set free!

Now, I’m not saying I don’t love a good Mullet, but I think it’s fair to say that in the fashion stakes a Mullet is Number One on everyone’s Shit List…! This is why, despite not being a Gym Leader, Professor Mullet just HAD to top our list…!

There we have it nerdlings! Keep watching the skeys, I mean skies!

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Thanks for reading! 🙂

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