bnned

Well hello there, PokeFans! Straight Outta Kanto here! Your brand new Ireland based blog exploding with news, nerd culture, nonsense and an obscene amount of… more!

We made it! This is Day Seven of our Seven Day Blog Challenge!

We are rewarding you today for your hard work and perseverance of having to read a brand new Pokemon related post every day this week by appealing to your slightly naughty sense of self. Today, my dark and dirty dears, we are going to lightly touch on the slightly more… deviant side of Pokemon.

May I present to you… 5 Things In The Old Games You Couldn’t Get Away With Today!

(5) Whirl Island Child Abuse:

whirl

I’m sure many of you have noticed this one by now, but just in case you need a refresher…

In Pokemon Gold & Silver there is a house in Olivine City where a little girl informs your character that there’s a monster in the Whirl Islands and that that’s where bad little girls get sent as punishment. Her father also confirms that the Whirl Islands are a great place to send misbehaving children – eh, great! Not.

While the purpose of this abusive bragging is most likely just to foreshadow the fact that the legendary Pokemon Lugia (gentle giant of the ocean) resides in the Whirl Islands – such blatant cruelty would not be seen in the far more PC and user-friendly-content of today…!

(4) Gambling & Vice:

corner

Since the games are originally Japanese and made in Japan by Japanese people it’s fair to say that certain, shock horror, Japanese elements wind up in the game. Such as… a pachinko parlour with some Yakuza connections turning up. They were all the rage in 90s Japan (If Takashi Miike films are anything to go by anyway!) and as the evil do-ers in Pokemon Red and Blue are in essence a trumped up Yakuza gang, it’s no surprise that some sort of gambling establishment was included as a hang-out in one of the main cities meant to have a heavy Team Rocket presence.

Even in later games the Game Corner with its slot machines and card games offering the opportunities to acquire rare Pokemon and prizes were a constant presence. (I can use presence twice in one article, right?)

However! The more the games advanced into the modern age of snowflakes and the PC Brigade, the game corners disappeared, replaced by more wholesome mini-games and so forth.

Even in the Pokemon Omega Ruby/Alpha Sapphire re-boots the owner of the Mauville Game Corner stands sadly outside his shuttered store bemoaning how all he wanted to do was make people happy, but all parents wanted to do was complain…

 

(3) 50 Shades of… Pokemon Trainers!? 

whips!

Pokemon has always had a weird cult of haters obsessed with comparing catching, training, battling Pokemon to real life animal fighting and other evil things.

I call… BULLSHIT.

It’s just a fun little Pokemon game (no, actually, lie, IT’S A WAY OF LIFE!!!) but still, chill yer tits animal activists, I’m with you on most things, but not on this.

Pokemon is literally just Pokemon.

No one tries to go around in the real world stuffing cats into hollowed out orange wedges or whatever and throwing them at other people’s cats and making them battle just because of a Pokemon game.

It’s just a game. (That also happens to be a hardcore way of life for us nerds)

BUT.

There were a looooooot of whip holding trainers in Pokemon Red and Blue.

I would imagine those whips were used more in the lion tamery way than the Christian Grey way, but still…

Those animal activists may have had a point at the start of the franchise, but thankfully we’re more Pokemon friendly now with our enrichment and battling and trainers can leave those whips behind in the boudoir where they belong!

(2) No Post Game Story:

cave

This is a bit tame after all the bondage and gambling but in Pokemon Red and Blue there was nooooooooo post-game story or activities. At all. ALL. You had three choices when Pokemon Red and Blue ended:

Choice A: Go talk to AfroMan in Cerulean City and go catch a Mewtwo. (That killed an hour or two.)

Choice B: Befriend real life living human being friends to trade Pokemon with so as to complete your Pokedex. (I… did not do any of this.)

Choice C: New Game.

We are literally spoiled for choice these days with our Rainbow Rockets and our Delta Episodes and Ultra Beasts and Battle Zones… non GenWunners will never know the pain of a non-post-game-that’s-more-intense-than-the-pre-game world…!

(1) Extreme Sexism:

women!

Pokemon is surprisingly… dodgy. The anime, not so much the manga, but very much the games. From scantily clad swimmers begging you to question where she keeps her balls, Olivia’s bachelorette-ness all the way to dorrty old men standing outside Erika’s all-women gym.

Personally speaking none of that offends me and the odd mature raunchy double-entendre is a bit of a larf, but they will never be able to get away with such blatant oogling as this old man in Celadon City. Oogle on, old man, oogle on! Our timing is passing, old friend of the oogling eyes!

So there we have it. 5 random mad things they did back then they couldn’t do today in Pokemon! Did you spot something I didn’t mention? Do you have an even filthier Pokemon related fact to share? Get in touch with the Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/StraightOuttaKanto91/ or join our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1623889321229114/ 🙂

Thanks for reading and remember, the Pika is out there…! 🙂

Pokemon_IL026_Brock's_Funny_Face

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s