licki

Greetings PokeNerds and welcome to Straight Outta Kanto – your brand new number one Irish Nerd Blog for all the latest news, reviews, rumours, nostalgia, nonsense and occasionally… more!

Today I am hungover on the memory of last night’s eating of my weight in chocolate biscuits while marathon-ing on Game of Thrones (You Binge Or You Die) so my brain is not functioning adulty enough to give the planned Pokemon Conquest essay the tender loving care it deserves. Feck it. I feel fat. I feel lazy. Here’s some ugly Pokemon:

(10) Seismitoad:

seismitoad.png

This ballsy beast literally looks like he applied the “Gotta Catch ’em All” motto to STDs. And completed the Pokedex.

(9) Garbodor:

Garbodor_BW055.png

Literally a sack of shit. Literally. Fight me.

(8) Drowzee:

drowzee

His sprite in Alola is sooooo creepy. The undulating, soft, flabby nose… freaky!

(7) Guzzlord:

guzzlord

This is not a Pokemon. This is a garbage disposal unit. Don’t start with the whole “Oh but he’s NOT a Pokemon, he’s an Ultra Beast blah blah blah” – Don’t care. Not listening. Listening requires getting out of my pyjamas and paying attention. Not happening.

(6) Alolan Muk:

muk

Well if Gamefreak were looking for a way to make Muk worse, yeah, throw some random teeth in there…! I don’t care that they’re meant to be crystallized toxins. It looks like Muk dropped some acid and rolled around in some baby teeth. Maybe Alolan Muk is the tooth fairy…?

(5) Bruxish:

brxish

The painted whore of the Alolan ocean. Hello Sailor Huey, lookin’ for a good time…?

(4) Oricorio:

oricorio-pom-pom

Literally looks like a middle-aged high school librarian trying to re-capture her lost youth by volunteering to run the pep club on weekends.

(3) Venipede:

venipede.png

These literally look like they would crunch if you stepped on them by accident. Crunch and then ooze… I really hate bug types.

(2) Golisopod:

Golisopod.png

He looks like those freaky bugs that curl up in a freaky little stomach churning ball when you step on them. And then crunch. And then ooze. Oh Christ. Death to Bug ‘Mon…!

(1) Lickitung:

Lickitung_AG_anime

Put. It. Away. Stop trying to make lick happen. It’s not gonna happen. Don’t know what creeps me out more. The pink fat little tummy (I know I’m not one to point fingers there…!) or the endlessly dripping fat pink tongue…!

memea

***This post is literally just my “personal” opinion, partially, this is a post meant for humour and entertainment, I love all Pokemon of all types and description and highly value the diversity of love all PokeFans share for their favourites ❤ ***

There we have it nerdlings! Keep watching the skeys, I mean skies!

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Thanks for reading! 🙂

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